Is It Too Late
by Sophia-Roseheart
Summary: It Alec's senior year in high school when Magnus, the new boy shows up. Can he save Alec from himself? Everyday Sebastian bullies Alec. Alec is the shy, quiet kid who is secretly gay. He is so depressed that he secretly self-harms. Malec.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Alec POV

I woke up to the sound of Jace banging on my bedroom door. "Hey! Time to get up! It's the first day of a new year." I groaned rolling over to get out of bed. Time for another day in hell.

Let's just say I'm not exactly popular. Unlike Jace and Izzy who are pretty much polar opposites of myself. I'm at the bottom of the food chain of high school. I'm a nobody. The only people who know I exist are Jace, Izzy, and Sebastian Verlac who bullies me on a daily basis.

I walked into my bathroom took a shower, brushed my teeth, and looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look dead. Next, I go over to my closet in search of an all black outfit. I don't really care what I wear as long as it covers my scars on my arms.

Just as I finish up I head down the stairs, grabbing some food on my way, and head out the door to hop in the back of Jace's car. Thank God he's driving and not Izzy. She's no better at driving than she is at cooking.

"So Alec… Do you plan on making any friends this year?" Izzy asks turning around to look at me.

"Umm… Well…" I replied trying to think of a way to get around answering her question. "No," I whispered hoping she couldn't hear me.

"What! You have to make some friends. You can't be an antisocial hermit your whole life. What are you gonna do when you move away and Jace and I are still stuck in school." She just stared at me. I'm sure she was looking for me to say that I would try and branch out and meet some new people this year, even though that's the last thing I want to do.

"I don't want or need anyone."

"Ugh! You're so difficult." Then she turned on Jace, "Are you just gonna sit there and let him give up on life?"

"I mean it's his decision. If he wants to be a loner that's up to him," he told Izzy. "But Alec I do think you should at least make one friend. It wouldn't hurt just to say hi to someone."

Finally, we made it to school. Before Jace had even stopped the car I had opened the door and jumped out. Once I was out of there sight I grabbed my schedule to check what my first class was.

 _Chemistry_

 _Calculus_

 _American History_

 _Lunch_

 _Psychology_

 _Literature and Composition_

 _Art_

As soon as I had tucked my schedule into my pocket someone crashed into me causing me to fall. I looked up to see who it was when I saw the most beautiful greenish gold eyes. The man before me looked at me, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to knock you over. It's my first day and I was just trying to find my way to my first class. I didn't even notice you there I was so distracted. My name is Magnus by the way. And you?"

I quickly got up breaking eye contact with him. "Alec. I-It's not big deal. W-what's your first c-class?"

"Chemistry."

"Me too. I'll show you the way if you want…" I said nervously. He intimidated the hell out of me. But at least Sebastian hasn't run into me yet.

"Thanks that would be great." He smiled at me as I started to walk toward chemistry.

I walk into class and the first person I see is Sebastian. Great! This year is going to be awesome. I get to start my day off with the person I love the most. NOT!

He seemed to notice that I had walked in because suddenly he was on his feet walking over towards me.

"Did you miss me?" I just ducked my head and tried to make it to the back corner of the class room before he attacked me. "Hey! I didn't say that you could ignore me." Then he charged toward me and grabbed me shoving me against the wall. In a whisper he said, "Don't worry Lightwood. I know what a fag you are. I'm not afraid to tell the whole school. If I were you I'd be careful. You don't want to upset me."

I just nodded my head, and he let go of me. Just as I thought he was done I tried to walk away but he put his leg out and tripped me, only to kick me multiple times in the side once I was on the ground. When he was done kicking me he walked away to his group of minions he were just laughing at me.

Slowly I got up off the ground and made my way over to the corner desk, as I sat down I heard someone sitting down in the desk next to me. I look up and see Magnus he notices me and flashes me a big smile.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Magnus POV

My chemistry teacher was just blabbing on and on about absolutely nothing, so of course I was bored out of my mind. I found myself staring at the blue eyed boy who sits next to me. He seems so shy and so sad.

I feel so bad for him he seems to have no friends. He hasn't even talked to me. Believe me I tried to get him to talk some more, but he seemed to upset after the incident with the blond haired bully.

As the day goes on I notice that he is in every class of mine except for third hour when I have my government class. During lunch he sat on his own at a table in the corner. I had been invited to sit with the "cool" kids.

I was curious about him and what his deal is. So I asked the girl next the me, Izzy, "Why is the black haired, blue eyed boy sitting alone over in the corner?"

"Oh, Alec," she sighed. "He's not exactly good at socializing with people. He prefers to be on his own. Why?"

"I was just curious. I ran into him this morning on my way to class." I tried to brush it off as if it was of no importance to me, when in reality I was entranced with the boy in the corner.

The rest of the day went on with nothing important happening. The same boring first day speeches from every teacher. I learned that the boy who harassed Alec this morning is named Sebastian. Turns out he is pretty popular around here and his "friends" follow him everywhere.

So far I think I've made at least a few friends. I sat with Izzy and Camille during lunch along with a few of their other friends. They both love fashion just like me. Even though it's Monday we planned to go shopping Friday at the mall so that they could show me all of their favorite stores.

Alec POV

Finally the last bell rang and I rushed out of class. I beat both Izzy and Jace out to the car, which isn't hard to do considering that they're stopped by about a million people who want to bask in their glory.

I was itching to get home as quick as possible so I could lock myself in my bathroom. I seemed to forget over the summer just how terrible I am. Sebastian only confirmed it for me. When I first saw Magnus this morning I thought that I might have a chance this year to have a friend. I thought I could befriend him and maybe not be so alone anymore. It's not that I don't want friends I choose not to have them because Sebastian has threatened to make my life a living hell if I do.

He has threatened to out me to the entire school and tell them that I'm gay. I haven't even told my family. I've never told anyone so I don't know how he figured it out. But I'm terrified that one day he'll tell everyone and then my life will be over.

I know my dad wouldn't accept me. He would probably kick me out and disown me. I'm such a failure. I've tried and tried to change. But I can't.

I've come to terms that I am worthless and that no one will care if I die. I don't even try to spend time with anyone because why would anyone want to spend time with someone like me. I know who and what I am, but Sebastian only solidifies my thoughts. If he feels that way won't others? Like Jace. I mean he's on the football team with Sebastian and they're friends. I don't know if Jace would still be friends with him if he knew how Sebastian treats me, but I'll never tell him. I don't want to risk him confirming my thoughts and agreeing with Sebastian.

After about thirty minutes of me waiting by the car I finally spot Izzy walking out of school talking to Camille. Eventually they part and Izzy comes over to wait with me.

"So did you make any friends?" she asks.

"No."

She just frowns at me. Izzy's about to say something when thankfully I hear her phone chime signaling that she just received a text message. Jace comes out as she is texting back to whoever she is talking to. He jogs over, unlocks the car, and we all hop in.

The car ride home consists of Jace and Izzy talking to each other about all of the new gossip they heard about what happened to who over the summer and other nonsense. Eventually, Izzy says, "I met someone new today. He's a senior, his name is Magnus Bane. Turns out he's totally into fashion just like Camille and I. The three of us are planning to go shopping on Friday at the mall."

Jace looks over at her, "Are you talking about the guy wearing extreme amounts of glitter?" She just nods her head.

The rest of the way home is silent.

When we get home I head up to my room and go into my bathroom in search of my razor to help relieve the pain inside. Once I find it I immediately roll up my sleeve and push it across my skin making a nice smooth cut. Slowly, I make more and more cuts until I eventually have fifteen nice even cuts. I sink down to the floor consumed with my thoughts.

 _I'm not like other people. Why?_

 _Why do I have to be gay? It would be so much easier if I just liked girls._

 _I don't even deserve to be alive._

 _Everyone hates me._

 _Jace and Izzy only pretend to care about me. How could anyone love someone as worthless as me?_

 _I feel like slowly I'm giving up more and more of myself every day._

 _I am nothing._

 _Why am I even alive?_

Slowly unconsciousness consumes me. I welcome it. It is the one place where I can escape my good for nothing life.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Friday Morning

Izzy POV

As I'm getting ready for school I find my mind wandering…

I'm starting to get a little worried about Alec. Everyday he sits by himself and tries to avoid everyone as much as possible. Why? Then when we get home he immediately goes straight up to his room and locks himself away.

He's starting to go back to what he was like last school year. Over the summer I worked so hard to help him get better. And it worked. He slowly got better. It seems like everything I did over the summer to help him get better has been destroyed. By what? Is someone doing this? Now that I think about it I don't really even know Alec. He distances himself from everyone, including Jace and I.

I finished my hair and made my way down the hallway to wake Alec up. I knocked on the door calling, "Alec time to get up!" There was no response… I attempted to open the door, which is usually locked, shockingly it opened right up.

Slowly I walk over to his bed and find that it's still made, he didn't even sleep in it last night. Where is he? I look around his room and can't find him. Next, I check his closet with still no sign of him. Finally, I go over to his bathroom and slowly open the closed door.

I'm shocked by the sight in front of me. Alec is on the floor and there is blood all over the ground. "Alec!" I rush over to him shaking him. "Alec! Are you okay?! Please wake up," I can hear the desperation in my voice.

He begins to wake up and groans as he looks around. I breathe a sigh of relief letting go of the breath I wasn't aware I had been holding in. Thank God he's okay. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"Alec what happened?" That's when I looked down at his arms searching for the source of all the blood. I'm met with a shocking sight. Nothing I would have every thought I'd see. Especially regarding my stronger older brother. The one I looked up to and could do no wrong in my eyes.

There on his arms were cuts and hundreds of scars covering his arms. Alec seemed to finally fully wake up and he immediately tugs his sleeves down to cover the cuts. "You didn't see anything," he tells me in an attempt to convince me that I didn't see anything.

"Alec… Why?" I ask quietly.

" You wouldn't understand.." He says equally as soft. "It's just so, so hard."

What does that mean?

He got up off the ground rinsing his arm off, then he walked off into his room to get ready for school.

"You can't go to school!" I screeched causing him to jump. "Not after I just found you passed out on the bathroom floor. You're staying home." I told him. No way in hell am I letting him leave this house.

"Izzy-"

"And to make sure you do I'm staying home with you. We don't have to tell have why we are staying home, we can say we're sick, I don't care. But we are going to talk about this," I said looking into his eyes.

He sighs and nods his head. Before he can say anything else I rush out of the room looking for Jace. I found him in the kitchen eating some cereal. "Jace," I started out quietly, "I don't think I'm going to go to school I'm not feeling to well. Neither is Alec. When I went to wake him out this morning he wasn't feeling good either. I think we caught the same thing."

"Okay."

Turning around I head upstairs to go sit with Alec in his room. I hear the front door slam shut as Jace leaves to head to school. Before I even realize it I'm in front of Alec's door. I hesitate to open the door.

Alec POV

Oh no. I can't believe Izzy caught me. What am I supposed to tell her? I don't know if she'll even like me once she knows. But of everyone in my family I think Izzy would be the most accepting. Maybe if I tell her I'll have at least one friend in life.

NO! You can't do that Alec. Who are you kidding thinking that you could tell someone. You are just a disgusting, ugly, worthless, nobody that no one wants. How could you think that you could tell anyone?! My own inner voice righted me once again. Who was I kidding, I'm still the same worthless nobody that I've always been. I'm not changing. Believe me I've tried.

I hear my bedroom door slowly creaking open. Without even looking up I know that it's Izzy. I mean who else would it be? "Alec we need to talk about what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I mutter.

"Well I don't give a fuck. This is not something we are negotiating. We ARE talking about this… Why Alec? Why did you do that?"

"You wouldn't get it," I mumble.

"Alec just let me in. You need someone. You can't be alone forever."

"I don't need anyone."

"Alec," she sighed. "Yes, yes you do. I promise I won't judge you. Nothing could make me love you any less." I doubt that, once she knows the truth. "Please Alec."

Should I tell her? I don't want to but I know that she won't leave until I do.

"Izzy… I'll tell you, but only if you'll hear me out."

"I promise."

I hesitate looking at her. I'm not so sure this is a great idea. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if she doesn't look at me the same way.

"I-I'm gay…"


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Alec POV

I can't believe I told her. I'm looking at her looking for some reaction. What is she thinking about? I feel like it has been hours when it has probably only been seconds. She's probably not saying anything because she can't believe that she has a fag like me for a brother. I mean if I were her I wouldn't want me as a brother.

I didn't notice I was crying but soon she was wiping my tears away. "It's okay Alec. I love you no matter who you are." I just started to sob. She grabs me and holds me in her arms. It feels amazing to finally tell someone and be accepted for it. I never would have thought that this would be her reaction. I thought she was going to yell at me or some other much worse thing that I don't even want to imagine.

"Shh.. It's okay Alec everything will be okay," she says to me trying to calm me down. Eventually, my sobs settle. "Alec it's okay that you're gay. I love you just the same whether you are into guys or girls. It doesn't matter to me… Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I feel like there is nothing left to lose, so I may as well just pour my heart out to her. "I-I was just afraid. I was afraid that you would hate me for being gay."

"Alec I could never hate you... "

"Izzy I love you so much," I say grabbing her in a big hug.

"I have one more question for you… Why did you cut yourself?" she must have seen the excuses I was thinking of because she immediately continued. "Don't you dare tell me that it was a one time thing or a moment of weakness. I know you Alec! You BETTER tell me exactly what that is. How long has this been happening?"

"Umm… Well… Since tenth grade."

"Why? What pushed you to do it?"

"I'm… I'm … I don't know. I mean I'm just a worthless nobody. Why would anyone want me? In tenth grade Sebastian helped me to realize just how worthless I am." Why did I just tell her that?! I can't believe myself. How on earth did I just not pay attention and totally spill every single one of my secrets.

"You are not worthless. I can't even imagine my life without you."

Over the next few hours I told Izzy all about Sebastian's constant bullying. Now that I have someone to talk to I feel totally relieved. I still don't know what made me tell her. I thought that I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would never tell anyone. But for some reason all of that changed the minute she found me on the bathroom floor.

"Hey Alec how do you feel about expanding your horizons?"

"Umm…" I don't really know where she's going with this.

"Well I was thinking that tonight you could come out with Magnus, Camille, and I. I think it would be a good thing for yourself. You need to socialize a little bit."

I don't really want to go, but the puppy dog eyes Izzy is giving me are slowly breaking me down. I sigh, "fine."

"Yay! You're not gonna regret this Alec. The four of us will have a great time. I'll text them and change our plans from shopping to going out for dinner and doing something else fun after. Maybe you'll even become really good friends with Camille and Magnus. Then we could be like that fabulous four…" She went on and on for at least fifteen more minutes. It's slowly making me regret my decision to go with, but I think it's a bit too late to change my mind. Plus, I think it would crush Izzy.

By the time we had to go and meet Camille and Magnus Izzy had picked out my clothes and made me look "suitable." Granted I only let her go so far. It still had to cover all the scars on my arms. I ended up in a long sleeve black shirt, black converse, and jeans, much to my disappointment they weren't black. Izzy also decided to "style" my hair and I have to admit it looked pretty good.

As we were pulling up to the local restaurant, Taki's, I could see Camille and Magnus waiting outside for us. When we got out of the car we walked over to go in to eat, they both smiled at us.

"Hey you guys! We missed you at school today," Camille called as we got close.

Izzy instantly replied, "Missed you too. Neither Alec or I was feeling well this morning, but now we are in tip top shape. How was school today? Anything interesting happen?"

A waitress came by and seated us at a booth, Camille and Magnus on one side and Izzy and I on the other with Magnus across from me. All three of them gossiped away from the second we sat down until our food was almost all gone. I didn't utter a single word. I mean nothing they were saying was important to me.

Magnus turned to me, "So what's up with you blue eyes? I hardly know anything about you. I didn't even know that Izzy was your sister until just a few hours ago."

Nervously I looked up from my food, "Umm.. I don't know… Nothing." I mean what does he even want me to say! It's not exactly like I'm an interesting person.

He just smiled at me. "Well I have some news for you. Today in art the teacher assigned a project to paint a portrait of your partner. So.. I graciously offered to partner up with you."

What! I always do projects alone even group projects. I think the teachers feel bad for me so they let me do things on my own. Not that I mind, it's what I want anyways. I can't believe my luck, the day I don't go of course we're given a group project. I guess on the positive side at least I got partnered with him and not Sebastian or one of his minions. "Umm.. Y-you didn't have to do that. I usually do projects on my own."

"Oh I don't mind," he told me. Then leaning across the table he whispered, "I secretly just wanted to spend some time with you."

It felt like my face was on fire. "Thanks I guess."

Izzy must have noticed the exchange more than I thought, "Hey you two why don't you cool it down." That only made me blush even more. The check came and we left to go back to my house and watch some movies.

I think I like Magnus.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

 **Hey you guys! So what do you think of the story so far? I'd love some reviews for some feedback and what you like and don't like. If you have any predictions of what will happen or what you think should happen I'd love to hear them. Sorry I've been so slow to get this update up I was out of town then I was busy, then life just happened. Ugh! I promise I'll try my best to be better about updating.**

 **Please review! Hope you like it! :)**

CHAPTER 5

Alec POV

Dinner was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Mainly because of Magnus. He is so handsome. I could find myself getting lost in his eyes if I let myself.

Now we were back at my house and we were getting some snacks for the movie. Magnus and I were put in charge of heading downstairs to get some extra candy and soda we have in the basement pantry.

"Okay slowpokes get upstairs. It's time to watch some movies!" Camille called down to us. Magnus just rolls his eyes. "Alright! So what should we watch first? _Titanic_ or _Twilight_?"

Izzy looks at Camille then at me and back to Camille again, "Umm… Camille, I don't know that either of those movies are ones that Alec would really like. How about we watch something else like _The Avengers_?"

"Ugh, fine." Camille looks right into my eyes, "I'm only agreeing to watch this for you. So you better have fun." I nod my head to her.

Well okay then. That wasn't intense at all. Just kidding! Talk about dramatic. Personally I would have watched either of the first two even though I don't know what either of them are. I just don't want to cause problems for anyone else, and I certainly don't want to be a bother.

We walk over to the living room, which has a large, comfy sectional, perfect for watching movies. Izzy and Camille are on one side, Magnus by them on the other side with me. I sit as close to the edge of the couch as I can get to keep from touching him, even though the couch in giant.

As the movie plays the nights going well. Everyone being nice to me, but I'd prefer it if they didn't try to make small talk with me. About half way through the movie I really just wanted to head up to my bedroom and lock myself away. But I think Izzy would have skinned me if I even dared to step a foot out of the living room.

Slowly Magnus inched his way towards me. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about him. I mean yes he's absolutely gorgeous and he's really nice, but I'm a nobody and he's obviously a very important somebody. What could he even see in me anyways? He's probably just moving around to find a more comfortable position. Subconsciously I'm moving more and more off the couch as he gets even closer to me. Now he's only a foot away from me. I feel like my face is on fire. "Blue eyes I won't bite," he whispered to me.

I jump up, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Izzy gives me a suspicious look, meanwhile, Magnus looks a little hurt.

I quickly rush up to my bathroom. Once inside I quickly splash my face with some cold water to try to wrap my head around what's happening.

 _Oh my God! What am I gonna do! What does he want with me? I mean he keeps giving me these strange looks… He's just so confusing. Ugh! This is EXACTLY why I don't spend time with people. I'm a loner for a reason. And these activities don't exactly scream "loner."_

My arm starts to itch under the bandage I put on my cuts earlier in the day. I just itch, and itch, and itch it until I can feel the cuts open up again. I sigh welcoming the pain that I know I deserve.

Izzy POV

I watch Alec rush out of the room and he mumbles some excuse about having to use the bathroom. Looking over I see that Magnus is looking at where Alec just rushed off. He turns to look at me with confusion in his eyes.

"What happened?"

He sighs, "I don't know."

"Were you hitting on him? He's probably not even gay?" Typical Camille question. I mean she is right about the gay part though. If Magnus was trying to hit on Alec I don't think that would end well right now. I do think it would be good for Alec to have someone, but I think he's just not in a spot for a relationship yet.

"Maybe…"

"Magnus!" I screech. "What were you thinking?!"

"I don't know. He's just got me mesmerized. He's gorgeous, with that night black hair and sparkling blue eyes. Black hair and blue eyes is my favorite combination," he winked. "I probably just totally offended your brother. I'm sorry Izzy. But I figured I'd at least try. I mean i figured the most I'd do is maybe creep out a straight guy a little bit."

"Magnus," I sigh, "I get it and I don't blame you. But could you just leave my brother alone right now. This is his first time he has spent time with anyone aside from Jace and I since middle school or before. I just want him to have a fun, pressure free night. I'm okay with you guys hanging out and becoming friends if that happens though. I'd be super excited if that did happen though."

"Hey Mags I get where you're coming from. If I were you and I saw a cute guy I'd probably try and hit on him too." Camille told him in an attempt to comfort him.

Magnus just laughs, "Of course you would Camille. So, what should we do now? Do you want to play a game?"

"Depends on the game," I say.

There's a glint in his eye, "How about a round on never have I ever for old times sake?"

"Fine," Camille sighs with fake annoyance. I know that she is secretly looking forward to playing this especially if Alec decides to come back. She loves gossip, especially new gossip.

I get up to grab a bag of skittles. I count out four piles of ten. Just as we are about ready Alec shuffles back in. "Hey! We're gonna play a round of never have I ever. Do you want to play?"

"Sure," he mumbles.

"Yay!" Camille shouts causing Alec to jump at her sudden outburst.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Magnus POV

I'm looking forward to a game of never have I ever. Glancing over at Alec I notice that he looks quite nervous. I guess it doesn't shock me. He seems like a quiet, private person. Maybe this will help me to learn some interesting stuff about the gorgeous blue eyed boy.

"I'll go first!" Camille screeches, so loudly that you'd think she was trying to blast your eardrums out. "Ok. Never have I ever...spent under one-hundred dollars for a pair of shoes."

"Are you kidding me? That's the best you could have come up with!" Izzy screams.

"Yep."

Alec, Izzy, and I all eat one of our skittles.

"Alright me now," Izzy says, "never have I ever kissed a girl."

Camille and I both eat a skittle.

"Alec!" Izzy says looking shocked.

"What?" He says looking at the ground.

"You can't tell me you've never-" she abruptly cuts herself off. Alec looks grateful that she's not pestering him anymore. How has he not kissed anyone? I understand that he's a little shy and he keeps to himself, but why? I mean he could be gay, but you'd think that he would have kissed a girl first. I mean I'm bisexual, but I still kissed a few girls before I figured out I was attracted to men as well.

To remove the attention from Alec I speak up, "Well I guess I'll go next. Never have I ever had a sibling."

"What that's not fair," Izzy says.

"All's fair in love and war," I say with a wink.

Both Alec and Izzy eat a skittle.

Alec's up now. "Never have I ever… left the country."

Camille looks at him, "How have you not left the U.S.? I know Izzy has gone to Europe a few times."

"I don't know. I just don't feel like going."

All of us eat a skittle aside from Alec.

"Alright, my turn again. Never have I ever had a cat." Camille says smirking.

I eat a skittle, "I'll get you back for that one."

"Never have I ever used more than one bottle of glitter on myself." What the hell! Are they just ganging up on me now. Begrudgingly I eat another skittle.

I have five skittles left, Alec has eight, Izzy had seven, and Camille has eight.

"Payback is a bitch," I say with an evil glint in my eyes. "Never have I ever worn a dress."

Both Izzy and Camille groan and proceed to eat a skittle each. Alec seems to be warming up to the game a little bit now that the attention is off of him.

"Never have I ever worn heels," he says. I look over at him and flash him a smile, as Izzy and Camille eat another skittle, causing him to blush.

It's Camille's turn, but she seems to be struggling to come up with something. "Umm… Never have I ever… Umm… Never have I ever self harmed."

I notice Izzy giving Alec a look and she shakes her head. What was that about? Why would she look at him like that? When she looked at him she looked concerned and worried for him. Does he cut himself or something? Maybe… No Magnus! Don't think that way. There is no way that he would.

I attempt to stealthily eat a skittle, but they all notice. "Magnus… I'm sorry. I wouldn't have said anything if I'd have known. I just thought that no one would have to eat a skittle so I thought that it would be no big deal-" Camille rambles on looking apologetically at me.

I cut her off, "It's not a big deal Camille. It's in the past. Don't worry I don't cut myself anymore. I haven't for years."

Izzy in an attempt to end the awkwardness speaks up, "Well I vote that we end the game and do something else." With no protest from anyone she continues on, "How about we get ready for bed and turn in for the night."

"Sounds good," I say. I still feel a little down as I think back to that dark time in my life before I accepted myself for who I was. I head into the closest bathroom and splash some water on my face to try and clear my head.

 _Magnus! You need to stop thinking like this. It's been a long time since you've thought about that time and the incident. You just need to move on. It's in your past. There is nothing you can do to change the past, you can only continue on with life._

I look at myself in the mirror. My makeup is a mess, but even worse than that is that I look like a mess. That haunted look is back in my eyes. I thought I had effectively squashed that look out. Groaning I walk out of the bathroom to find Alec in the hallway. "Hey blue eyes!" I attempt to say in a teasing tone, but instead it comes out flat.

"Magnus…" he looked like he wanted to say something, but he seemed to change his mind. He turns to leave but turns around. "So umm… What is this art project we're doing together?"

"We have to sketch one another. When do you want to get together and do it? It's due next Friday."

"Whenever… It doesn't matter to me."

"Okay, how about we do it Monday after school?" I ask with a smile.

"Sure." Then he walks away.

I find myself smiling as I walk away and head up to Izzy's room where I'm sure her and Camille are waiting. Once I walk in they abruptly cut off what they were saying. "What's up guys?" They both look at me nervously. "Okay cut the crap! I'm still the same person I was yesterday. Okay?"

Izzy speaks up, "I know that Magnus. We didn't upset you did we? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm doing fine Izzy. I just don't like to think of my past. So on that note, if we could switch subjects that would be great."

"Why were you smiling when you came in?" Camille questions.

Shockingly I blush, "It's none of your business."

"Does it involve a blue eyed boy?" To that I can only blush even more.


End file.
